Ok, here's an informal post.

Well, you people out there may be wondering why I'm typing all these stuff. Just that after the recent experiences being sick, I come to realised life is nothing without God, the creator and author of life. It seems that He wants me to come back to him, no matter when I'm sick or healthy.

I've decided to change for the better. To be a better man than to sin all the while, and then fall just to realise, that it's my fault, my sins that I fall because of it.

Life is short, who's life ain't? It's a 100 years for a person long? Is 20 years for a person short? I come to realised that most of the time we take it for granted, what if our life get taken, for "The Lord will come like a thieve...".

So I wish to address my readers to keep me in your prayers with the Lord, that I'll come to do his will everyday, a spiritual exercise that I decided to follow...

Like how St Ignatius of Loyola prayed:

St. Ignatius of Loyola Prayer

"Dearest Lord,

teach me to be generous.

teach me to serve you as you deserve;

to give and not to count the cost;

to fight, and not to heed the wounds;

to labor, and not to seek to rest;

to give of myself and not to ask for reward,

except the reward of knowing that I am doing

your will."

Amen.

All Saints Day

A passage from All Saints Day card:

All Saints Day


The challenge of sainthood
is to go
where love takes me.

—Prayer for Daybreak and Day's End, Volume II

"Love is the greatest..."

*taken from Catholic Greetings

Handling depression

Went through a book in MPH yesterday, something about depression, and come across the part of self help...

Kick the depression away, see it as a small imp clinging to your leg or hands, and imagine yourself kicking it away, maybe by kicking a football or just throwing something, like a used dolls into the chimney and see it disappear.

Don't feel guilty, or shame. These two are main factors of depression.

Find the trigger event, and wat causes it, and learn to overcome it by thinking positively. Don't let it trigger other things in your life.

Imagination plays a role in stopping depression. Don't let it control you. But think positively on how to handle it.

----

"Lord, grant me the grace to live a life directed to you today. Be with me and help me in all that I'm about to go through. Be part of my life and remove the depressions in my life, as I'm young, help me not to worry too much. Amen."

Taken from today's reflection:

“Heavenly Father, you set apart Israel as your chosen people. Thank you for taking me and grafting me to that beloved vine. Thank you for inserting me into your immense plan of salvation! Your faithful love knows no bounds!”

Psalm 94:12-15,17-18;Luke 14:1,7-1128

About Monday 23rd October 2005

Went to see the doctor on Monday, didn't know my cough was so serious.

bronchitis
· n. inflammation of the mucous membrane in the bronchial tubes, typically with spasm of bronchial muscle and coughing.
– DERIVATIVES bronchitic adj. & n.

And if I'm not careful, I might be infected by:
pneumonia /nju;"m@UnI@/
· n. a lung infection in which the air sacs fill with pus.
– DERIVATIVES pneumonic adj.
– ORIGIN C17: via L. from Gk, from pneumZn ‘lung’.

God, please save me from my suffering with this. I wanna recover, show me how to...Amen.

Luke 13:24
“Strive to enter through the narrow gate,
for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter
but will not be strong enough."

Somehow this passage touched me, from today's bible reading. Entering through the narrow gate.

I could barely breath the pass few days, having terrible cough. Preservering through prayer, I thank God I'm recovered now.

------------------------------

There's a lot that happened in the past few days, making me realised how hopeless life can be when we are sick.

But never give up in Him, he listens. And now will try my best living a godly life, rather than making all the mistakes and falling again, for the punishments are in this life or the next.
















Thank you Lord for healing me. It is time to move on...and indeed you have never let me down.

Rising from the ashes

Awaken Spirit
Waking up today,
Feeling better than the previous days,
A rain of healing been showered unto me,
And indeed I am healed,
Worries subside,
A bright warm new sunshine,
Ready to love once more,
Those around me.
A fire rekindle,
Deep from within...

For this,
I will not forget the Almighty,
For this,
I would,
As an offering of praise,
Think of others,
Rather than myself all,
More often than them.
"A service above self".
Years are passing,
And I'm getting older.
Next year is the year,
A age of adulthood,
Mirrored at me.

I stare in awe,
As how a sickness,
Can change a person.
I have ended up learning,
There is always...
A purpose in everything that happens.

Although I'm tired today,
nothing seems better,
than a lesson well learned.
Thank you Lord. Amen.

A passage from today's reading:

Ez 18:25-28

Thus says the LORD:
You say, "The LORD's way is not fair!"
Hear now, house of Israel:
Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair?
When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies,
it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die.
But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed,
he does what is right and just,
he shall preserve his life;
since he has turned away from all the sins that he has committed,
he shall surely live, he shall not die.

Well. That's all. We're given chances in life. And it is by repenting we shall live anew. For

"God is merciful"

Lessons

I lay on my bed, sick, turning around...
Feeling helpless, without hope...
Assign due date ringing...
About to give in...give up...
I keep rolling...
A voice suddenly spoke to me...
The same voice I hear everyday,
Holy Spirit, why?
I asked...gasping...asking why...
Many of the skeletons unmasked,
From the closets,
The evil and bad things that I did,
Each sin unfold before my eyes,
I was stunned...
Truths were revealed,
I can only listen,
To the voice that keeps talking to me
Self-centerness was the word that struck me...
Like a mirror being reflected at me,
More truths are revealed.
It is time for change, says the voice.
I see Jesus before me, telling me many things.
Yet, I couldn't sleep...
And finally I did...

Waking up,
I started to reliased the words that I use to say,
I can't say them no more..
I find myself...
A change so deep,
I couldn't ignore it.
I started understanding,
How others treated me,
And why...
Why...
And yes,
Says the voice...
It's time to turn over a new leaf,
A change...

Busy busy ahead...

will resume blogging when my schedule returns to normal.

Busy week! Assignments are due soon, looking forward to my holiday where I can resume blogging.

Current Desktop Wallpaper

Current desktop wallpaper.

Anyone interested? Can send you a copy if ya want, just msg me here at the chatterbox.

I'm so into gundam, gonna finish the Gundam Seed series soon...

Done with my proposal

Yay! Passed up the final year project proposal. Coolness. Finally I'm done with it, yipeee.

Now will wait whether it's approve or not.

Darn, next Monday have to present the HUCID assignment in class. And I only started the Macromedia Director thing presentation, where we have to simulate the inputs and outputs of the application.

Sounds complicated? Wait till we pass up the whole thing, it will be mind blowing.

And ISMAN, I'm rather relax in that. Seems that the leader is contributing most of it. I've tried contributing more, but there are just some people who are well, having diffrent leadership styles, and doing all of it themselves is what they do best. No offence, I respect such people, known as soloist people. But still will try helping as much as I can and anything that he ask for. We'll have lots of business stuff in it, and diagram, business strategies and all that. Due date around December, so guess near that time we'll be pretty busy shaking our asses to complete it.

That's the parts and parcels in UoP. Next term will be even tougher...*sweats. Will have to put on my safety helmets and safety gear for that.

A logo of UoP:




UoP link: http://www.port.ac.uk/

My room deco

Posters in my room...hehe.

Saturday

Woke up at 1pm. Now that's a start...nothing beats a long and lovely sleep on a weekend.

Good morning Malaysia!

Sometimes I don't fully understand certain people. Why they just dislike you for the plain simple reason that they just oh well, dislikes you.

So I don't bother what people think about me anymore. It's all about acceptance. It's by accepting who he or she is, that's when friendships build up.

Ah anyway, I'm not that bad sort of person anyway, so don't tell me about changing, as I won't...

Has been a week, as usual, full of stories to share and experiences that I have went through, but can't seem to write it all here, just couldn't remember or bother to write all of it here, lol.

Oh yah, something interesting yesterday, I spilled coffee, all over my desk, and it's hot, imagine that, hot coffee on your laps and all over your mouse, keyboard and table and even the floor! Darn...well ended up have to wipe the whole thing off and wash the clothes. Messy messy..

Well that's life anyway, you do a mistake, and eventually you learn to wipe the mess off and learn not to repeat it again.

Had Passover Meal today...where we recall how the jews left Israel and also Christ suffering for us. Was more unusual as we had "extra" stuffs put in like "beef" which is suppose to taste like lamb and also some "guai ling gou", to replace the herosepth and bitter chocolates to replace the bitter herbs. To me, the most meanigful fellowship meal we had before.

I wonder what I'll do without CKK LOTN Lifeline. Guess I would join some other protestant churches by now. Thank God for such a blessing. Love all of them there, dedicated my whole college life for them.

Aiight that's all now, wanna take a sleep and start afresh with my proposal.

Ragnarok

Darn, save me from playing Ragnarok. It's pretty addictive. Those cute graphics and nice gameplay, it's been a while any game is able to capture me this far.

Have to control, have to resist....

For a friend

Please pray for a friend of mine who is suffering from Appendicitis. Below is his blog:
http://arspata.blogspot.com/

A close friend of mine back in Kuantan, with memories streching back to the times in Secondary School.

Hope you get well soon Chee Chung.

This week.

-do assignments
-go for rosary
-bought lots of stuff, cost lots of $$$ too
-typing in a blog where there are no comments, dunno why
-chatting with friends on MSN
-playing dota
-go to same old Jaafar to yamcha/dinner
-pasar malam on sundays
-mass on sunday mornings
-youth on fridays
-goin crazy with roy, ben and khalil

Colourful life.

Thought for the day - relationship or single?

It's been about 2 months since my last break-up. Today a close friend told me to start looking for a gf, which strucked me. Which then I debated why a person like me would be hard, which he disagreed and told me that I'm am able.

Somehow, I do feel like, it's time. But guess sometimes it's best leaving it in the hands of God. I believe he knows what's best for me. No need to rush things. If somehow it happens, then I'll let it happen.

I'll just have to pray more about it. My church leaders have always asked me to consider being single for the time being and concentrating on my priorities, they have a point too, which I kinda agree.

Sometimes it can be so tiring, either being a single, or in a relationship.

I just hope to meet the love of my life one day, the person I would marry, rather than dwelling in relationships that would not lasts and holds no purpose in the end. Waiting for such a person, it seems like a lifetime...

I'll leave it in the hands of God, do pray for me my friends.

Like what Fr. OC Lim told me when I was in a relationship:
"That's good, but whatever it is, your study comes first."

And what Fr. Alloycious said during the Welcome Nite Mass:
"Do no be afraid to fall in love, it is when you do, then you'll know what it is like to love God."

Amen.

Classes starting at 9.30am. Woke up today without finishing the movie i've been waiting for, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, have to watch it, the film is worth it...

Bought a new alarm clock to help me wake up, and haha the good old handphone is the first to rang and woke me up.

I'm seriously broke, just by buying some groceries...Mum will be nagging on the phone again...

Off to class soon. Another tiring and brain draining forst day of the week. Final year? Reminds me more of a 3 months long nightmare.

Let's pray that I can get through this.

Rosary month, 6pm rosary everyday for this entire month at 1.3 and 1.4 at monash block.

Rosary is trully something I've missed, been busy with studies and not able to find space and a quiet time from others to pray in my room.

A picture of a rosary:








I hope to go home next week, can't stand it here anymore. College is killing me. Need a well deserved break.

That's all for now. Back to final year project proposal...

A note about those who make the weak looks weaker

Would you see a weak old man and still fight with him? Would an adult see a 3 year old kid and punch him in his face?

All these doesn't makes sense, although rather radical. But yet such people exists...

There is a saying: "Go pick someone your own size"

I will change that, go pick someone who have the same amount of strength that you do...

That's indeed what happened. Someone stronger than me, being a close friend, yet overpowering me when he knows better not to. Would you tolerate such a person? Even if it means that he sees it as a joke? When you are serious about him not to do so?

I wouldn't.

Same message goes for those who like to pick on others. Go find someone your own build and strength or even stronger and don't take those weaker than you for granted.

The Skeleton Key

The movie was really scary. A thriller that shook most girls on their seats. Scariest movie of the year for me.

Hostel life is so colourful, I mean really really COLORFUL...

I miss home so so much. Feeling demotivated in my studies. Father please help me out here...

Rosary month starting today, glad to be back to the days of praying the Rosary. Mine is seating in a pile of dust before this. Sad but true. Anyway will get back to praying it when I have the time, and most importantly the silence and space that I need.

I wonder why some of my friends in blogspot have so many comments and mine so few? hmm. But no matter to me, I'm keeping this as a record to look back next time. Anyway I appreaciate it all you out there writing your lovely comments here.

Good nitez. Off to bed now...